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May 14

. . . of what? Life I guess? But when does “life” actually begin. I’m not talking the life that’s argued over in the abortion debate. I’m referring to that thing most career-minded students strive for, whatever it is.

I’ve started my career in Civil Engineering Consulting, I’ve moved into the first place I can really call my own (even if it is just a basement suite), I’ve got the first car that I’ve bought, and I’ve passed my Bachelor’s degree. They all seem like good indicators that I’ve “started” my “life”?

But if this is the start of my life, what was I doing before? What were those 5 years in school all about (including Co-op, I didn’t fail anything :P). I seem to just be asking questions.

It’s hard to perceive where I am as being different from where I was. Of course there’s the obvious differences: school vs work, physical location, free time, you name it. But really, regardless of all that, aren’t I still the same person? How I spend my days and where I am are different, sure, but I’d say that’s a very far cry from defining who I am. I guess I should clarify here that I’m relating “where I am” to being “who I am”, if you didn’t get it already.

Although, it does make sense that I don’t see myself as a different person. I can only see myself in the here and now (Here and now, great song by Great Big Sea, FYI). To make a true comparison I’d need to step outside the timeline of me and compare the then me to the now me, all without taking the actual me making the comparisons into account. Yes, that quite possibly made no sense. . . Yet, I see myself as me today, and tomorrow I will still see myself as me, and the perception of me today compared to how I will perceive myself tomorrow would fairly undoubtably be the same, because I have and always will be just me, or so it seems. Yes, still very likely making very little sense, maybe I should have taken more philosophy courses, I love arguing over this stuff, because there’s never any answer but it’s so easy to pour everything you have into your argument for absolutely no rhyme or reason!

Okay, so, where is this going?

Next time you look in the mirror, take a good long look. Take in all the detail. Then try and remember yourself before you looked like that. Maybe the you five years ago; how about the you before your last haircut; what about the you the last time you went to a formal event. Can you remember all those details? How does that compare to your physical self now? What about your mind-set back then. What were you thinking, or even better, HOW were you thinking. If you really get into it it can become a pretty surreal feeling. We always live in these simple, physical 3-dimensions. But it’s the 4th one, time, that can send you through a loop.

*Sigh* This is definitely NOT where I had originally planned for this entry to go!

Regardless, before I start to hurt myself, I leave you with this: